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I am a longtime listener and for about 6 months I was a $20 sub, however due to financial constraints I had to cancel my subscription.
I am writing to you because I desperately need help for my son
He is a 24 year old a very successful [x], he is extremely diligent with his finances and is a beautiful outgoing friend who attracts people to his charismatic personality, he loves order and routine and as a child he did excellent in school, I only ever had 2 issues with him growing up, one was been suspended for assaulting a kid that attacked him and I one night the other he was caught shoplifting. my reaction was when he was at the police station make him apologise make him write an essay on what he done and even arranged a tour for him at a police station so that he could see his fate if his behaviour did not change.
A bit of background, His dad and I met when I was 14 and he was 17, he was my first boyfriend and we married when I was 20, we had both come from very destructive backgrounds, both our mothers we very promiscuous (being kind) his mum would sleep with a different man literally every night and even slept with his best friend, my mother was constantly having affairs, we both had absent fathers mine completely abandoned me, his dad was a part time father. There was also severe sexual abuse, domestic violence and generally a very shitty childhood for both of us.
When I met his dad he was taking drugs, such as pot, acid and Quaalude’s and alcohol, I was abusing alcohol and marijuana too, however as our relationship progressed I eventually stopped doing all of that, he stopped with all the other drugs with the exception of marijuana. We married and [x] was born prematurely at 28 weeks he was a little fighter and 6 hours after his birth he was breathing on his own and had no effects from the birth, the minute i saw [x] if fell madly in love with him and honestly my love for his dad started dying, I knew this relationship was doomed however as I was an only child, I really didn’t want [x] to be an only child and 2 1/2 years later his sister was born, I had suppressed the sexual abuse but by the time my second child was born, I had gone into a severe depression and found out later that I was overwhelmed in protecting my children from suffering the same abuse I had, our marriage steadily declined his dad had assaulted me a couple of times and eventually we divorced when I was 25, after the divorce I slipped into a nihilistic human-being started abusing drugs and eventually after a year was addicted to heroin, I abandoned my children with their father I had several suicide attempts one where I would have died if not found in time, all this happened around the children, their father also started taking hardcore drugs such as cocaine and Ecstasy however he still took care of the kids, eventually close to death I ended up in an extremely good rehab had extensive counselling for 8 weeks and finally admitted the sexual abuse i had suffered as a child, I moved towns got myself a great job, stopped taking all drugs and within in a year I had gotten the children back.
I met my current husband 3 years later and we were married a year after that, he was not a bad step father provided very well for the children and even though they had their spats I think the children will agree he was not the “evil stepdad” he has never had children of his own and today refers to the kids as his own, we relocated from South Africa to [x] and when that happened my extreme mental illness started again, i was abusing medications neglecting my children and really did destructive things to both my husband and children, again I had many suicide attempts and reverted back to my self destructive place again.
[x] has been in a serious relationship with a girl for 8 years they met in high school and eventually moved in together 5 years ago, a few weeks ago [x] “believed” he caught her cheating on Snapchat, he questioned about it and eventually beat her that both her eyes were bruised and her lip is split right up to her nose, this is not the first time [x] has assaulted many times he has left bruises on her body, her and he has a massive rage issue, he goes from 0 to 500 in a second, he loses complete control there is no reasoning with him when he is in a rage, he becomes violent he becomes abusive and viscous with his mouth, the girlfriend eventually packed all her stuff about 2 weeks while [x] was at work and left him.
Please help us Stefan, please my dream for my child is he finds the root cause of his rage, he meets a beautiful woman and becomes a great father, that is his dream too, as previously stated in most of [x]’s life he is extremely successful but this rage could end him up in prison eventually or even killing someone (I know that sounds dramatic but it could happen)