“Hello, My name is [X] I am 20 years old and I would love to talk to Stef about a few different things.
I have often wondered when does personal responsibility and having a bad childhood meet? At what point do we put the blame on that individual and not there upbringing? Is there a point or is your life strongly determined by those early years and you will forever be a “victim” to your early years? This question I have often pondered because I look at my own life and the bad childhood. I was molested by boys and girls in my neighborhoods at a very young age and those things continued until I was 11, I was exposed to pornography very young, my mother died when I was 8, my ex step moms neglected me heavily and at times hit me, their kids did similar things to me growing up, my father abandoned me for a time to my horrible ex step moms after my mom died, and it goes on. These things have shaped me to who I am but I don’t see myself as a victim. I’m a guy who is married to his best friend and high school sweetheart with a great job with greater opportunities coming. I have a great social circle with the best friend, but even before those things I felt I have built a resiliency or tolerance for bad things which has made me stronger.
Maybe it comes from my religious views, views on the world, and also I think it is probably strongly influenced by people like Stef whom have become such a positive influence in my life over the years. I don’t feel like I’m gifted in anyway I just work hard and try to live my life
within a set of values.
The reason I say this is because I listen to countless people who call in that have experienced absolutely horrific childhoods. Those childhood experiences obviously have greatly affected their current place in life. My question is I guess simply, when do we tell someone “you had a bad childhood that’s why you may be where you are now so lets fix it” vs “it doesn’t matter your childhood, pick yourself up and take responsibility for your life”. All I can compare this too is
myself and my own terrible childhood and where I am now which is the best place I have been in my life.
I would just love to talk to Stef about this as he has greatly influenced my life and this is a question I have often wondered while listening to him.
Thanks in advance, looking forward to a response!”
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